Archive for the 'how to say no' Category

How to protect your integrity by saying no

Friday, August 17th, 2012

If you want to be known as a person of integrity you must keep your promises and meet your commitments.
This means making promises and agreeing to commitments which are realistic for you and with which you are comfortable: and saying no to requests you cannot handle.  When you make realistic commitments people will learn that [...]

Friends are the people who are there for you when you need them. Sometimes it can be difficult to define the boundary between being there for someone and being used unfairly. If you don’t speak up as soon as you feel someone is taking advantage of you, the relationship can develop into a pattern which [...]

It is difficult to resist requests from people with whom you have close relationships, because of your fear that they will take offence. But agreeing to something that you resent damages your authenticity in the relationship and over time does more harm than being truthful from the beginning.
In the situation below Teresa is concerned that [...]

Are you one of the people who has lent money to a friend, a relative or a business partner, expecting that at some point it would be returned, maybe even with interest. Perhaps you negotiated payback terms and received reassurances that they would be met, but the deadlines went by. You might have felt too [...]

How to say no

Wednesday, June 27th, 2012

Why do you say yes when you really want to say no?
You say yes when you mean no, because you fear that others will criticise you for being selfish, uncaring or unhelpful. You say yes to hold onto the illusion that you can be there for everyone, the dependable fall-back in every crisis, the perfect [...]

So you like being a firefighter?

Monday, February 27th, 2012

If you’re paid to be a firefighter, then it’s fine to spend all day fighting fires.
But if you’re actually paid to plan strategies, define goals and objectives, think of ways to improve how you operate, and provide coaching and support so people around you grow and develop – then what on earth are you [...]