I’ve been thinking about the week that was and the reactions of participants on my workshops to the Straight Talk process. I’ve been thinking about the patterns of behaviour that I commonly see, and how they affect the ability of people to hold effective conversations that get results and at the same time build better relationships.

Generally, there are two aspects of the Straight Talk process that people struggle with.

The first is with the steps required to obtain the view of the other person in a conversation. As often as not we go into conversations more intent on getting our own way than on getting the view of the other person and negotiating a solution that works equally well for both of us. Getting into dialogue, considering what the other person knows about the situation or wants out of it, is something we don’t give much consideration to.

We play to Win; to get our own way, and our own views across. It is an approach that shows little consideration for others.

The second feature of Straight Talk that people struggle with is that of using empathy to acknowledge the feelings of others. To use empathy you have to project yourself into the shoes of the other person, focus on how you think they may be feeling and verbally or non-verbally, say or do something to acknowledge those feelings.

It means putting your own needs and feelings aside for a moment to show consideration for another.

Consideration for others…that’s it! That’s what’s missing in so many of our relationships, both personal and at work. It sounds better to say, ‘I play to win’ than it does to say, ‘I’m not considerate of others’ but be in no doubt, it comes to the same in the end.

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3 Responses to “Self centred? You bet!”

  1. Anne Greening Says:

    Hi, Maureen. This one rang bells with me. I’ve learned over the years (make that decades)never to plunge into a discussion without thinking about the other person’s position; and considering how best to raise a toucy topic without sparking an argument.

  2. Dustin Sidles Says:

    An amazing share, I will relay this onto a colleague of mine who was carrying out a little him… *smile*. So let me reword that: Thank you for your treat and thank you for spending the time blogging about this, I feel strongly about this topic and love reading about it, I hope to read more on it. If at all possible, as you grow your expertise, would you mind updating your blog post to learn more? It would be very helpful to me. Big thumbs up for this blog!

  3. admin Says:

    Thanks Dustin and Anne
    It’s not who you say you are that counts, it’s how you behave that tells others who you really are. Scary stuff! Keep following my blog.
    Maureen

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