Every day I’m meeting people who are stressed and frustrated because they are unable to speak up to their managers with their ideas, opinions, and also their frustrations.
So here are some pointers.
When your power base is low and the stakes are high, proceed with care. These conversations can be career limiting. Plan exactly what you will say. If necessary, write it down to check that you are not coming across with accusation or blame. It may be wise to use the steps below on an easy issue first before you try to raise a more sensitive topic.
Be clear on what you want to talk about. In your planning focus on choosing a few, straightforward, concise words that best describe the issue. Do not pussyfoot!
One of the safest openings to any conversations is to phrase it as a question. To a boss whose communication style is entirely one way, you might say, ‘Can we talk about something that’s getting in the way of our working together?’
Then describe the behaviour that is causing you frustration. You must be absolutely specific and accurate. Choose a recent event so that the manager recognises his or her own behaviour.
Then say how you feel about the situation, but be tentative. There may be many interpretations of the situation. “Maybe I‘m being too sensitive, but I’m starting to feel you don’t want input from me.”
Finally, ask for your manager’s input so you can get into conversation around the issue. There are two sides to every story. Inviting input lets you find out how the other person sees the situation and is a way of helping minimize defensiveness. You might say, ‘I’m wondering if there’s anything I can do to bring my ideas to you more effectively”.