One conversation can make or break a relationship, a career or a life. No wonder we find some of our conversations really scary. Getting to a point where you can speak up about almost anything to almost anyone takes practice, but if you start with these tips in mind you’ll go wrong less often.
1. Choose [...]

Most of us put off having difficult conversations for as long as possible.  But even when we are in conversations, we find ways of avoiding the critical and difficult issues. The problem is that when you hold a conversation that does not directly and effectively address the real problem, no amount of talking will make [...]

Speaking up to anyone in authority can be difficult and high risk. If you get it wrong, it could be career limiting. But it may be the only way to remove feelings of frustration and dis-empowerment at work and can be a powerful way to increase your resilience.
One of the conversations that most people avoid is asking [...]

There’s some really good news this week. I’ve had the proposal for my second Straight Talk book accepted for publication by my publisher, Random House Struik!
And there’s some really bad news! They want the manuscript by the end of January for July 2011 publication. So whatever other plans I had for the December holidays, they [...]

One of the problems that almost all business managers wrestle with is that of holding people to account. When you don’t do it effectively you find yourself surrounded by people who are driving you crazy with their incompetent performance or inappropriate behaviours.
Conversations about poor performance often end with promises of improvement that come to nothing. [...]

The best time to hold a difficult conversation is now! The only reason to delay is so you have time to defuse your emotions and make a plan for what you will say. Then it’s time to talk.
When we don’t speak up, problems don’t go away. People continue to perform poorly and behave badly. Relationships [...]

When we don’t solve performance problems as soon as they occur, it’s obvious that people will continue to perform badly. Patterns of behaviour and bad habits become established and conversations become more difficult.
If someone misses a deadline, you might say, ’Your report was due in yesterday but it’s not yet on my desk. What happened?’ [...]

How do you convince someone to improve their performance when they have been paid – and promoted – for years, for what you consider to be sub-standard performance?
One of the most difficult performance management problems is the one where you have taken over a team where people have not received honest feedback in the past. [...]

‘I can see how this works – but it’s difficult for me. I’m from the old school – it’s either right or it’s wrong. Somebody either performs properly – or you discipline them.’
The speaker was a man in his fifties who was trying hard to get his mind around the idea of Win Win conversations [...]

I’ve been thinking about the week that was and the reactions of participants on my workshops to the Straight Talk process. I’ve been thinking about the patterns of behaviour that I commonly see, and how they affect the ability of people to hold effective conversations that get results and at the same time build better [...]