Being authentic is very scary. It must be, or we wouldn’t have so many ways of avoiding it.
Think how often you have posed as someone or something you are not; prevaricated to avoid telling the whole truth; procrastinated when you should have faced up to difficult conversations; pussyfooted around sensitive issues instead of dealing with [...]

When it comes to communicating about feelings, it is noticeable how most people operate in one or other of two modes.
Most of the time, they do not share their feelings. You never quite know what they are really thinking, or where you stand with them. You get hints in their non-verbal behaviour or in humorous [...]

I’ve been thinking about the week that was and the reactions of participants on my workshops to the Straight Talk process. I’ve been thinking about the patterns of behaviour that I commonly see, and how they affect the ability of people to hold effective conversations that get results and at the same time build better [...]

The majority of people with whom I consult are concerned about the quality of their relationships, either in their personal lives or at work, or both. While they may realise that the conversations they hold reflect the tone of their relationships, they are often unaware of the problems they create for themselves in the way [...]

Are you stuck?
Can’t get your budget approved? Don’t have a clear answer on your next career step? Still waiting for project approval? Key client holding back on the contract decision? Scared you might be on the retrenchment list?
It’s always hard to get the year up and running but this year seems to be one of [...]

People often say they make difficult conversations even more difficult by becoming emotional; and later regretting, deeply, what they have said. Expressing our feelings is not easy, and most of us have learned to be very cautious, scared even, about doing it: scared of the negative reaction we might cause, scared that we’ll look foolish [...]

Difficult conversations happen to everyone. The more emotion that is involved, the more likely it is that the conversation ends in a blame game, wild accusations, tears and anger. Everyone retreats into silence, only to have the whole thing erupt at some later timewhen emotion gets the better of us again. There is a better [...]