‘I can see how this works – but it’s difficult for me. I’m from the old school – it’s either right or it’s wrong. Somebody either performs properly – or you discipline them.’
The speaker was a man in his fifties who was trying hard to get his mind around the idea of Win Win conversations [...]

They sent me on the training course
They didn’t make it clear
They haven’t come back to me
They didn’t do it right the first time
They never answer the phone
I have heard all of these statements this week. It’s been quite a week! They seem to be everywhere, messing up our lives as usual. They have a lot [...]

One manager I’ve seen recently uses the all too familiar tell or authoritarian style with her team. She knows it all; what is wrong, who is at fault and exactly what they must do to fix it. She even knows what others think! In a meeting from which one of her people was absent, she [...]

I was reminded again this week of the many ways organisations can be incompetent.
I had been asked to help a manager whose staff were argumentative, surly and uncooperative. ‘There’s nothing I can do with them,’ he said. ‘They just don’t want to work!’ On the surface it looked as if this manager had indeed inherited [...]

I’ve spent the last week talking about KPAs and competency frameworks with three different clients. Two have been with HR people who are trying to get acceptance for their performance appraisal processes. One has been with a line manager who is confused and frazzled by the whole thing.
Some things change. A lot of things stay [...]

Difficult conversations happen to everyone. The more emotion that is involved, the more likely it is that the conversation ends in a blame game, wild accusations, tears and anger. Everyone retreats into silence, only to have the whole thing erupt at some later timewhen emotion gets the better of us again. There is a better [...]

We face difficult conversations every day. They can be with our children, our parents, family members and spouses; with colleagues, employees and with the boss; with friends and neighbors; with tenants, landlords, business partners, and in the sports team. Sometimes these conversations are about the “big” issues of race, religion, gender and politics. More often [...]