I’ve been thinking about the week that was and the reactions of participants on my workshops to the Straight Talk process. I’ve been thinking about the patterns of behaviour that I commonly see, and how they affect the ability of people to hold effective conversations that get results and at the same time build better [...]

One manager I’ve seen recently uses the all too familiar tell or authoritarian style with her team. She knows it all; what is wrong, who is at fault and exactly what they must do to fix it. She even knows what others think! In a meeting from which one of her people was absent, she [...]

I was reminded again this week of the many ways organisations can be incompetent.
I had been asked to help a manager whose staff were argumentative, surly and uncooperative. ‘There’s nothing I can do with them,’ he said. ‘They just don’t want to work!’ On the surface it looked as if this manager had indeed inherited [...]

The majority of people with whom I consult are concerned about the quality of their relationships, either in their personal lives or at work, or both. While they may realise that the conversations they hold reflect the tone of their relationships, they are often unaware of the problems they create for themselves in the way [...]

The next book that I’m planning to write has the working title ‘Straight Talk: conversations that scare you’.
I’ve been doing some research for it with my clients and recently asked them to send me outlines for conversations that they think are scary. I’ve been blown away by the number who replied and by the detail [...]

Everyone talks about the importance of relationships; in teams, with customers, with your boss, with your staff; in families, with spouses and partners. But mostly what I hear are people holding the kind of conversations that do little to build relationships and are often virtually guaranteed to damage them!
I hear emotional outbursts, accusations and blame. [...]

In the course of one morning this week I received three pieces of feedback from clients who have been through Straight Talk training.
Spot the pattern in their comments!
“I was always taught that showing emotion is a sign of weakness. so I have bottled up my emotions as long as I could, even with friends and [...]

People often say they make difficult conversations even more difficult by becoming emotional; and later regretting, deeply, what they have said. Expressing our feelings is not easy, and most of us have learned to be very cautious, scared even, about doing it: scared of the negative reaction we might cause, scared that we’ll look foolish [...]

I have had a comment from someone who signs herself ” Distracted”. This is it.
“I find it difficult to get my boss to focus on what I have to say when we meet and discuss things. I feel as though he really just wants to have a social chat when we meet. We get most [...]

How many of us are in relationships where something is not being said?
It may be at work where someone’s lack of energy or commitment is driving you crazy but you have not said anything. Or it could be a colleague who complains continually about his or her personal life and you put up with their [...]