One of the things that managers most dread about performance appraisals is the woman who breaks down in tears at the first hint of critical feedback.
The very best way to handle this problem is to avoid having it happen in the first place. There are two things you can try.
Prepare for the conversation by gathering [...]

How did something that started out as a straight forward training course last week develop into a conversation about reality?
I was training a group of young graduates who are on a two year development program, on completion of which they will be appointed as junior managers in their organisation.  As a group they all exhibited [...]

Being authentic is very scary. It must be, or we wouldn’t have so many ways of avoiding it.
Think how often you have posed as someone or something you are not; prevaricated to avoid telling the whole truth; procrastinated when you should have faced up to difficult conversations; pussyfooted around sensitive issues instead of dealing with [...]

When it comes to communicating about feelings, it is noticeable how most people operate in one or other of two modes.
Most of the time, they do not share their feelings. You never quite know what they are really thinking, or where you stand with them. You get hints in their non-verbal behaviour or in humorous [...]

I’ve been thinking about the week that was and the reactions of participants on my workshops to the Straight Talk process. I’ve been thinking about the patterns of behaviour that I commonly see, and how they affect the ability of people to hold effective conversations that get results and at the same time build better [...]

They sent me on the training course
They didn’t make it clear
They haven’t come back to me
They didn’t do it right the first time
They never answer the phone
I have heard all of these statements this week. It’s been quite a week! They seem to be everywhere, messing up our lives as usual. They have a lot [...]

I was reminded again this week of the many ways organisations can be incompetent.
I had been asked to help a manager whose staff were argumentative, surly and uncooperative. ‘There’s nothing I can do with them,’ he said. ‘They just don’t want to work!’ On the surface it looked as if this manager had indeed inherited [...]

Difficult conversations happen to everyone. The more emotion that is involved, the more likely it is that the conversation ends in a blame game, wild accusations, tears and anger. Everyone retreats into silence, only to have the whole thing erupt at some later timewhen emotion gets the better of us again. There is a better [...]

We face difficult conversations every day. They can be with our children, our parents, family members and spouses; with colleagues, employees and with the boss; with friends and neighbors; with tenants, landlords, business partners, and in the sports team. Sometimes these conversations are about the “big” issues of race, religion, gender and politics. More often [...]