Whether it’s the best of times or the worst of times, there’s one thing you can do to sway things in your favour. You can speak up when others are driving you crazy.
People drive you crazy even when you are on holiday.
Your mother in law has been critical of you all through the holidays.
A partner or spouse has chosen to spend so little quality time with you that you’re wondering if they even know you’re there.
A family member has spoiled the time together by raking up old disagreements.
An aging parent makes and breaks his promise not to drive on the highway.
When you get back home and to work after the holiday, who’s going to drive you crazy?
The neighbours whose dog still barks through the night even when you have spoken to them about it.
Your boss whose idea of planning is to say, “I don’t care how you do it, just make it happen!”
The twenty- something employee who needs to be told the guidelines for appropriate corporate behaviour - again.
The teenager who started off the year by getting some new body art.
How do you typically handle problems like this? I’d guess that many of us bite our lips, change the subject, drop hints and freeze people out: anything to avoid the confrontation that we just know will end disastrously. The rest of us say something like,”Oh, I don’t care what people say. I’m not afraid to speak up. People know where they stand with me!” So we blame, attack, jump to conclusions and force our ideas on others. Afterwards, we look back and wonder why no-one has accepted those ideas and why the relationship has become even more strained.
There has to be a better way - and there is! You can learn how to confront people face to face when they have broken their promises or let you down. You can talk to people who are abusive and threatening and hold them accountable for their behaviour. You can handle defensiveness. Most of all, you can get results from these difficult conversations without damaging your relationships with family and friends and without putting your career at risk.
So if there’s only one resolution you make this year let it be the one to speak up and talk straight.