People often say they make difficult conversations even more difficult by becoming emotional; and later regretting, deeply, what they have said. Expressing our feelings is not easy, and most of us have learned to be very cautious, scared even, about doing it: scared of the negative reaction we might cause, scared that we'll look foolish or vulnerable, scared that we might damage the relationship. So we play safe, bite our lips, suffer in silence. Even in our most intimate and important relationships we often go to extreme lengths to avoid telling it like it is - especially when it comes to expressing how we feel.

Read More....

I have had a comment from someone who signs herself " Distracted". This is it.

"I find it difficult to get my boss to focus on what I have to say when we meet and discuss things. I feel as though he really just wants to have a social chat when we meet. We get most work done when we are on the phone or via email and it's often not ideal. How can I get him to focus more and agree on a plan each time we meet?"

Here's my response. I think it might have some relevance to other, similar situations

Sounds like "Distracted" has a fairly easy relationship with her boss so speaking to him should not be a terribly difficult conversation.

In a situation like this, you should start by thinking through the reason you are initiating the conversation

Read More....

As managers, many of us do indeed talk straight. We identify problems, decide on solutions, allocate responsibilities, communicate it all to our people with standards and deadlines … but the job doesn’t get done! Managing would be easy if only people would do what they have been told to do. And they have been told. Straight! 

We all know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of this style of management with managers who storm into our offices to tell us what’s

Read More....