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Maureen Collins's Blog
Description:
Handling difficult conversations in our professional and personal lives without damaging relationships

Oct 02

Living your values

Published in walking the talkorganisational valuesliving your values by Maureen Collins | Comment (0)
We talk a lot about showing respect, providing excellent customer service, empowering people, developing high performing teams, building trusting relationships and creating motivating and challenging environments. This article examines how living up to some of the most common organizational values requires that we use some very specific behaviours, few of which come easily.

Talk is cheap. Walking the talk is a different proposition, and the problem with values is that what you say about them is irrelevant. It's what you do about them that counts. Here are some of the values that organisations most commonly aspire to. How well do you walk the talk?

A universal way of showing Respect is to listen. Listening conveys respect regardless of differences in culture, language, gender or

Read More....


Aug 19

Build resilience: get your bounce back

Published in resiliencepositive thinkingempowermentdealing with stress by Maureen Collins | Comment (0)

Life is a flow of wonderful times, good times, not so good times and bad times. All we can be sure of is that there will be constant change. We never know how long our current troubles will last, or if they will get worse before they start to get better. The light you see at the end of the tunnel may well be another train!

Resilient people have the ability to keep going when the going is tough. They have reserves of inner strength that help them adapt to change. They understand that events in the world are neutral: then they choose how to interpret and react to them. They stay focused on what must be done, and they keep moving forward.

Of the many definitions of resilience, one of the best is, "the quality of being springy". How springy are you? Can you roll with


Read More....


Aug 10

10 tips for running better meetings

Published in running better meetingsmeetings by Maureen Collins | Comment (0)
Been in any meetings recently? Who hasn't? Most of us feel we spend far too much time in meetings; much of it wasted.

Meetings are often inefficient and costly. They take forever. They lack structure or process. The wrong people attend. Some arrive late. People dominate the discussion to get their own viewpoint across. Those who may have valuable contributions don't get a word in. There are lots of pointed fingers, raised voices and interrupting. At any time, one third of the meeting doesn't know what is being discussed; one third does know but has lost interest in the outcome; and argument rages amongst the rest, whose only decision may be to set a date to start talking all over again - because some of them have to leave for another meeting. Afterwards no-one remembers what

Read More....


May 21

Being stressed is a choice: learn to say No

Published in managing stresshow to say No by Maureen Collins | Comment (0)
The pace of life gets faster and faster. There's more and more we have to do: there's more and more we want to do. How much more of this can we take?

Have you stopped recently to remind yourself that being stressed is a choice? (Although when you are up to your neck in crocodiles, it's hard to remember that it IS a choice!)

We constantly make decisions, each of which has consequences for our lifestyle and on the amount of stress we face. There are the really big decisions that determine our life path; for example: where to live, whether to marry, have children, the kind of job we seek, personal targets we set ourselves, the cultural and recreational activities we choose to become involved with.

Then there are the smaller day to day choices, where we decide if we

Read More....


Feb 28

Get your facts straight

Published in using factsnon verbal signalsbeing objectiveaccusing and blaming by Maureen Collins | Comment (0)
It sounds so easy. Facts are facts, that is, until we feel strongly about something. Then emotions take over, and not even facts are what they seem. There are four common mistakes that we make.

1. We load the facts with emotional baggage. The emotional tone of a statement is most often carried in the non verbal signals that accompany the words. You may choose your words carefully, with the full intention to have an open discussion about something, but the tone, pitch and loudness of your voice all give away your true intent...to accuse or blame. Gestures such as finger pointing, raising eyebrows and frowning, add to the effect. Standing up, pacing around, and waving your arms make the message unmistakable. The open discussion becomes attack and defense. A delegate on a workshop recently

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Jan 21

How straight do you talk?

Published in talking straightspeaking upsaying noconfronting others by Maureen Collins | Comment (0)
The start of the year might be a good time to think about how straight you talk and how you typically handle difficult conversations. Many of us say we talk straight, and we genuinely think we talk straight. But how straight do you really talk?

Check yourself out by scoring each item on a 10 point scale.

I am confident in my ability to...

1. Confront an employee with my concerns about his or her performance.

2. Be completely open and honest with my superior about issues I have with him or her.

3. Say "No" to a request I feel I cannot meet, without causing any animosity between myself and the other person.

4. Speak up to challenge a person in authority when I disagree with their views.

5. Speak to a person whose behaviour I find offensive or abusive

Read More....


Jan 16

The Boat Race

Published in getting people to talkco-operation by Maureen Collins | Comment (0)
It's called "The Boat Race" and has been taking place for 178 years. Each year in March two eight man rowing teams from Oxford and Cambridge universities compete in a race along a four mile stretch of the River Thames in London. It's described as "the most famous, most watched rowing race in the world".

So what has that got to do with Straight Talk? It was a phrase in a Time magazine article in early December that caught my eye. "Part of the trick", said the researcher, an expert on teamwork, who spent seven months training with the teams last year, "is simply getting people to talk."

He compares the rowing teams to high level executive teams. Both are made up of talented ambitious people, from diverse backgrounds, operating in stressful

Read More....


Jan 06

The best of times or the worst of times

Published in talk straightspeak uppeople who drive you crazyimprove relationships by Maureen Collins | Comment (0)
The best of times or the worst of times

Whether this year will be the best of times or the worst of times, there's one thing you can do to sway things in your favour. You can speak up when others are driving you crazy.

People drive you crazy even when you are on holiday.

  • Your mother in law has been critical of you all through the holidays.
  • A partner or spouse has chosen to spend so little quality time with you that you're wondering if they even know you're there.
  • A family member has spoiled the time together by raking up old disagreements.
  • An aging parent makes and breaks his promise not to drive on the highway.

When you get back home and to work after the holiday, who's going to drive you crazy?

  • The

Read More....


Dec 15

Are you talking about the right things?

Published in recurring behaviour problemsdifficult conversationsbeing let down by Maureen Collins | Comment (0)
In every relationship there are issues that are difficult to talk about; his mother, her ex-husband, money, how to raise children. At work it is difficult to talk about poor performance or to confront issues of disrespect or insubordination. Sometimes we don’t talk about these things at all because they are too sensitive, we’re too emotional or the stakes are too high. At other times, we do have conversations, but the problems remain.

The starting point is to identify exactly what you need to talk about. It’s all very well planning and holding a conversation word perfectly, but nothing is achieved if it’s the wrong conversation.  How often have you heard people at work say,”I’ve told her about it several times but she still makes the sam

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Nov 29

One manager is getting it right!

Published in management styleholding others to account by Maureen Collins | Comment (0)
I was listening to a client this morning as she described how she planned to manage her new team. She has a number of relatively new managers, people with great technical skill but, typically, little management expertise. As best as I can remember, she put it like this. 

“They avoid conversations. They let small things slide and then they grow into bigger things. When they realize they have to take some action, they come in heavy handed with accusations and warnings of discipline. Next thing everyone’s in my office asking me to sort out the mess! I’m not going to do it any more.

I’ve talked to them. I’ve told them that I have given them the

Read More....


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