Blog Entries

Living your values

maureen

We talk a lot about showing respect, providing excellent customer service, empowering people, developing high performing teams, building trusting relationships and creating motivating and challenging environments. This article examines how living up to some of the most common organizational values requires that we use some very specific behaviours, few of which come easily.

Talk is cheap. Walking the talk is a different proposition, and the problem with values is that what you say about them [...]

Build resilience: get your bounce back

maureen

Life is a flow of wonderful times, good times, not so good times and bad times. All we can be sure of is that there will be constant change. We never know how long our current troubles will last, or if they will get worse before they start to get better. The light you see at the end of the tunnel may well be another train!

Resilient people have the ability to keep going when the going is tough. They have reserves of inner strength that help them adapt to change. They understand that even [...]

10 tips for running better meetings

maureen

Been in any meetings recently? Who hasn't? Most of us feel we spend far too much time in meetings; much of it wasted.

Meetings are often inefficient and costly. They take forever. They lack structure or process. The wrong people attend. Some arrive late. People dominate the discussion to get their own viewpoint across. Those who may have valuable contributions don't get a word in. There are lots of pointed fingers, raised voices and interrupting. At any time, one third of the meeting d [...]

Being stressed is a choice: learn to say No

maureen

The pace of life gets faster and faster. There's more and more we have to do: there's more and more we want to do. How much more of this can we take?

Have you stopped recently to remind yourself that being stressed is a choice? (Although when you are up to your neck in crocodiles, it's hard to remember that it IS a choice!)

We constantly make decisions, each of which has consequences for our lifestyle and on the amount of stress we face. There are the really big decisions th [...]

Get your facts straight

maureen

It sounds so easy. Facts are facts, that is, until we feel strongly about something. Then emotions take over, and not even facts are what they seem. There are four common mistakes that we make.

1. We load the facts with emotional baggage. The emotional tone of a statement is most often carried in the non verbal signals that accompany the words. You may choose your words carefully, with the full intention to have an open discussion about something, but the tone, pitch and loudness of your voice [...]

Tell it like it is

admin

People often say they make difficult conversations even more difficult by becoming emotional; and later regretting, deeply, what they have said. Expressing our feelings is not easy, and most of us have learned to be very cautious, scared even, about doing it: scared of the negative reaction we might cause, scared that we'll look foolish or vulnerable, scared that we might damage the relationship. So we play safe, bite our lips, suffer in silence. Even in our most intimate and important relations [...]

Keeping to the point

admin

I have had a comment from someone who signs herself " Distracted". This is it.

"I find it difficult to get my boss to focus on what I have to say when we meet and discuss things. I feel as though he really just wants to have a social chat when we meet. We get most work done when we are on the phone or via email and it's often not ideal. How can I get him to focus more and agree on a plan each time we meet?"

Here's my response. I think it might have some [...]

How straight do you talk?

maureen

The start of the year might be a good time to think about how straight you talk and how you typically handle difficult conversations. Many of us say we talk straight, and we genuinely think we talk straight. But how straight do you really talk?

Check yourself out by scoring each item on a 10 point scale.

I am confident in my ability to...

1. Confront an employee with my concerns about his or her performance.

2. Be completely open and honest with my superior about issues I hav [...]

The Boat Race

maureen

It's called "The Boat Race" and has been taking place for 178 years. Each year in March two eight man rowing teams from Oxford and Cambridge universities compete in a race along a four mile stretch of the River Thames in London. It's described as "the most famous, most watched rowing race in the world".

So what has that got to do with Straight Talk? It was a phrase in a Time magazine article in early December that caught my eye. "Part of the trick", said t [...]

The best of times or the worst of times

maureen

The best of times or the worst of times

Whether this year will be the best of times or the worst of times, there's one thing you can do to sway things in your favour. You can speak up when others are driving you crazy.

People drive you crazy even when you are on holiday.

Your mother in law has been critical of you all through the holidays.A partner or spouse has chosen to spend so little quality time with you that you're wondering if they even know you're there.A family m [...]

Are you talking about the right things?

maureen

In every relationship there are issues that are difficult to talk about; his mother, her ex-husband, money, how to raise children. At work it is difficult to talk about poor performance or to confront issues of disrespect or insubordination. Sometimes we don’t talk about these things at all because they are too sensitive, we’re too emotional or the stakes are too high. At other times, we do have conversations, but the problems remain.

The starting point is to identify exa [...]

One manager is getting it right!

maureen

I was listening to a client this morning as she described how she planned to manage her new team. She has a number of relatively new managers, people with great technical skill but, typically, little management expertise. As best as I can remember, she put it like this.

“They avoid conversations. They let small things slide and then they grow into bigger things. When they realize they have to take some action, they come in heavy han [...]

Family squabbles

maureen

Every family has them!

There’s scarcely a family that, at one time or another, has not had to deal with a squabble between family members. As the holiday season approaches and more family gatherings take place, there is a danger that these squabbles can become full scale wars.

The classical problems with in-laws are probably the most well known, and certainly the most tal [...]

There�s an elephant in the room!

maureen

How many of us are in relationships where something is not being said?

It may be at work where someone’s lack of energy or commitment is driving you crazy but you have not said anything. Or it could be a colleague who complains continually about his or her personal life and you put up with their behaviour. Maybe you have family members – in laws, step children, siblings - who treat you with disrespect and you don’t know [...]

How am I doing?

maureen

That’s the question we would all like an honest answer to!

But how many of us feel that we get it; and how many of us as supervisors and managers can say that we truly and without exception, give our people honest answers?

Managers dread the annual performance appraisal interview. It’s time consuming. It can involve conflict. They worry that if they give high rat [...]

Talking so you get things done

admin

As managers, many of us do indeed talk straight. We identify problems, decide on solutions, allocate responsibilities, communicate it all to our people with standards and deadlines … but the job doesn’t get done! Managing would be easy if only people would do what they have been told to do. And they have been told. Straight!

We all know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of this style of management with manag [...]

Conversational styles that don't work

maureen

Conversational styles that don’t work

It’s fascinating how much one can learn about people and the culture of their organisations by listening to the conversations they hold.

There’s the manager who has been around for a while, knows his job and can see a mistake at ten paces. His conversations are shor [...]

10 tips for making difficult conversations safe

maureen

Difficult conversations happen to everyone. The more emotion that is involved, the more likely it is that the conversation ends in a blame game, wild accusations, tears and anger. Everyone retreats into silence, only to have the whole thing erupt at some later timewhen emotion gets the better of us again. There is a better way! You can learn how to make difficult conversations safe by following the tips below. See what a difference [...]

Mistakes we make in difficult conversations

maureen

We face difficult conversations every day. They can be with our children, our parents, family members and spouses; with colleagues, employees and with the boss; with friends and neighbors; with tenants, landlords, business partners, and in the sports team. Sometimes these conversations are about the “big” issues of race, religion, gender and politics. More often than not they are about common everyday problems.

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