How many of the same people who are driving you crazy today, were driving you crazy last week, or even last month?

Many of our conversations simply rehash previous conversations. The same problem is raised: the same excuses are offered: more actions are discussed: nothing changes. You start over.

Conversations go wrong when you push for compliance but you don't have commitment. When you tell someone what you think of their behaviour and then tell them how you want them to fix it, you have done all the thinking, you have come up with all the ideas, and if the solution doesn't work, the fault will obviously be yours too!

When you need real commitment, follow these guidelines.

Get off to a safe start

Don't start by accusing, as in "This report is not good", or "You let me down! What happened?" When people feel accused their reflex reaction is defense, and the conversation quickly becomes an argument.

Don't be so sure you know

When you assume you have all the information, that you are in the right and that you also have the answer to the problem, you will push your own ideas through. Ask for the other side of the story from the person whose feet are closer to the ground than yours.

Share the air space

Commitment rests on involvement so you need to share the air space. Ask for information, ideas and action plans with what, where, when, why and how questions. Listen to the answers.

Agree action and follow up

Summarise what you have agreed, then set a follow up date and make sure you stick to it.

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