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About Straight Talk
The conversations we hold with family and friends, colleagues and life partners do much to predict our success at work and the happiness and satisfaction we experience in our personal lives.
Some of our conversations help build stronger and deeper relationships, but others damage and destroy them. When we hold differing opinions and feel strongly about the issues, when we argue about rights and wrongs, and when the stakes are high; the skill with which we hold these conversations determines whether we come out stronger and closer or whether people get hurt and relationships suffer.
•Talking to your mother-in-law about her interference in your marriage
•Speaking up to a toxic boss who is verbally abusive to you
•Saying no to a friend who takes advantage of you
•Confronting someone about their negative and depressing attitude
In conversations like these, when we should be on our best behaviour, emotions take over and we’re often on our worst. We blame and accuse, instead of listening and considering. We do a lot of talking but do little to solve the problems.
You’d think that if conversations are so important we’d learn how to do them better. We’d take time to plan, choose our words carefully and handle them with care. But we don’t.
When we think that a conversation is going to be sensitive and difficult most of us start by avoiding it for as long as possible, hoping the problem will go away on its own. It never does, so we try dropping hints, or we use humour and sarcasm. If we do raise the issue, it will be so sugar coated that the other person has no idea what we’re talking about!
And we continue to bite our tongues...until one day, when we can no longer control our emotions, we explode with frustration, anger, accusation, blame, often tears, and sometimes violence.
Straight Talk skills help you manage your emotions and plan conversations so you can talk about almost anything to almost anyone, and build better, healthier relationships.
You can use the skills of Straight Talk in many situations...
•In performance appraisal when you give feedback on poor performance or bad attitude
•To confront the inconsiderate, incompetent or toxic peoplewhose behaviour creates conflict in the workplace
•In improving communication with interfering in-laws and difficult family members
•To form healthier relationships when you negotiate about boundaries and unacceptable behaviour
•To speak up to people who don’t live up to their promises, or your expectations
•To help you analyse when you are over-reacting, or are causing the problem yourself
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Straight Talk Tips
Straight Talk Tip
May '12
Technosis - have you caught it?
It’s irritating when someone puts your call on hold to take one from someone else. It’s frustrating when you have to compete with TV, FB and e-mail for the attention of your friends and family. It’s offensive when friends at the dinner table send and receive calls and text messages: and it’s ridiculous when holding a meeting means having as many iPads around the table as people.
Many companies have toxic environments that are created by a small number of people, but which cause distress for many. Use the indicators below to assess your own workplace.
Bullying in schools seems to have reached epidemic proportions. In the business world where we often refer to it as harassment or toxic behaviour, it is just as common.
When you have healthy personal boundaries you don’t tolerate abuse or
disrespect: you’re not afraid to say no, and you don’t take on problems
that belong to other people. You know who you are and you treat yourself
and others with respect.
While the technology with which we communicate is allowing us to do so both more quickly and more widely, our communication is becoming increasingly ineffective.
