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If you want to help your children communicate more effectively, one of the most useful things you can teach them is the difference between presenting facts and giving their own opinions. It will help them be more persuasive and avoid the kind of arguments that are won by the person who shouts the loudest.
As adults, we know the difference between a fact and an opinion. But when we’re angry, frustrated or inpatient, opinions tend to take over. How well do you make the distinction? Have you heard yourself make any of the following statements recently?
- You spend far too much time on the phone
- It's much too difficult
- I've been waiting for ever
- They’re never available
Words like always and never; phrases such as too often, or very untidy and a sentence like: You're not working nearly hard enough are all a matter of opinion.
Arguments arise when we present opinions forcibly, as if they have the same status as facts. Someone once said: Opinions are like noses; we all have one, but that doesn't necessarily make one any better than another.
Skilful communicators first present the facts; then they present their opinions based on the facts. This allows others to see the basis for the opinion and to decide whether they wish to challenge the facts or disagree with the opinion.
Be careful though. Children love this distinction and are extremely expert (my opinion!) in using it to get their own way.
- Supermum
- Giving praise
- Speak up - but plan first
- Discipline or obedience
- Consequences
- Reaching agreement
- Facts and opinions
- Dealing with emotions
- Tips for dealing with emotions
- How to stand up to a bully
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