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It saddens me to see how so many adults have poor self-esteem and low self-confidence. By the time you are in your twenties, thirties and beyond, life patterns are in place that are hard to change. It would be so much easier if we had not acquired those negative perceptions of ourselves in the first place!
While many factors go to make up our children’s perception of themselves, there is one element that, as a parent, you can do much to influence.
You can praise your children. You can reward them when they do well. You can catch them doing things right and acknowledge them for it. So long as you are sincere and specific in what you say, you can’t overdo positive feedback.
Positive feedback is what helps build confidence and self-esteem.
There are two simple steps to giving positive feedback. Describe what your child did in a little detail. Then tell him or her how you feel about it.
‘Thank you for putting away every single one of your toys.
You’ve really helped. It will be easy for me to tidy up later before our friends arrive.’
Then stop!
In reality, we are usually more ready to find fault than to praise. But too much fault finding produces children, and then adults, who are anxious, unsure of their own abilities and insecure.
Focus on the positive things that your children do. While there are many aspects of their lives that you cannot control or even influence, you can always tell them when you think they do good. So do it.
- Supermum
- Giving praise
- Speak up - but plan first
- Discipline or obedience
- Consequences
- Reaching agreement
- Facts and opinions
- Dealing with emotions
- Tips for dealing with emotions
- How to stand up to a bully
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