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You know what it’s like to play Supermum: the one who’s there for everyone, who remembers everything, who takes care of the details and sorts out the problems long after everyone else has collapsed in a heap.
The smartest Supermums also know how to keep themselves in a good space so they can continue being Supermums. They have learned how to say ‘No’ without sound uncaring, unwilling or just plain grumpy - not good Supermum behaviours!
The steps below will help you CARE for yourself.
Start by being Clear on exactly what the other person wants from you. Ask for the details of what, when, who, why and how much. You need to be aware of exactly what you are getting into, or the basis on which you will say ‘No’.
Then Acknowledge the request. Be sure the other person knows you have heard and understood their request – not thoughtlessly refused it without listening.
Before you make a decision, Recognise your own needs, resources, constraints and priorities. Take a moment to think through your personal capabilities. If you don’t say ‘No’ you could be the one who gets stressed!
Lastly, think through the Effect of your decision in both the short and long term. Is the request a minor one or could it have major implications for a relationship or career?
If you decide to say ‘No’ to a request be sure to explain your reasons first. That way the other person can understand and appreciate how you arrived at your decision.
- Supermum
- Giving praise
- Speak up - but plan first
- Discipline or obedience
- Consequences
- Reaching agreement
- Facts and opinions
- Dealing with emotions
- Tips for dealing with emotions
- How to stand up to a bully
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