|
Do you know that if you type "toxic people" into Google you come up with 18,100 000 hits! That's a lot of toxicity. You're probably working with some of these people right now. There's the victim; the one who blames and complains about everything that isn't working in his life, including his job performance. He loves to share his frustrations, but takes no steps to resolve any of it. Favourite phrase? "Yes, but…" Then there are the needy ones whose conversations centre only on themselves, draining energy and life out of everyone around them. How about the person who is always right and loses no opportunity to tell you? A conversation with her is so exhausting that it's easier to give up and just listen. And the boss who tells you that his criticism is for your own good, when he reprimands you or puts you down in front of others!
Our densely planned, highly pressurized workplaces are breeding grounds for these kinds of toxic behaviours, but it's up to you to decide just how much pushing around you will tolerate. Listing the people around you and identifying what they do that gets to you, is a big first step. You have to recognize your own boundaries. What is negotiable for you and what is not? Then it's time to confront. It's not easy to confront these toxic people, but the alternative is to allow them to make you miserable, frustrated, confused and angry. In the end you allow them to seriously damage your health. Plan it carefully. Be sure you can describe specifically what has been said or done that causes you distress. Explain how you feel about the situation. Be direct. Be honest. Then invite them to respond. You're asking them to be accountable for their behaviour. People who have never received feedback like this before may have no idea of their negative impact on others. If they have some care for their relationship with you, behaviour change can be virtually immediate, with an occasional reminder as time goes on. With others, it may take a lot longer. You have to weigh up the behaviour, its effect on you if you say nothing, and how much will be at stake if you speak up. Toxic people can make your life unbearable. Only you can do something about it. Join us for a day of learning 'How to handle the people that drive you crazy' on Friday 11 May 2007. Click here to read about the workshop outline. Click here to make a booking! If you would like to receive Straight Talk tips on a monthly basis, email us!
|
