|
You’re locked into a loop. You want to move on; you’re tried everything you can think of but you end up in the same place every time. Your frustration grows. Finally in desperation you decide to start over from the beginning. Control Alt Delete: reset: reboot: start over. It works for computers. Why not in relationships?
There are some clear signals that tell you it’s time for a reset. Listen out for these phrases.
We keep talking about this but nothing changes.
What’s the point of talking? You always do it your way!
Things change for a while, but then it’s back to the same old…
Every time we discuss this, we end up arguing.
Pressing the reset button in a relationship means changing the ground rules for the way you relate and communicate. It takes place in conversations that start with: Can we talk about how we communicate: or, where we’re going in our relationship: or, the way we handle… performance appraisals… our relationship with your mother…
It includes ground rules for the conversation itself, for example: Can we start over with this and help each other focus on the facts. Or you might say: Can we agree to hear each other out, without interrupting.
Using reset at work deals with expectations, boundaries and acceptable norms of behaviour. Resetting personal relationships covers much the same issues. It requires a negotiation in which everyone’s view is considered and then an agreement on future behaviour to which everyone commits. It should also include a commitment that you will help each other stick to the agreement.
When you find that you are locked into a pattern of poor communication and bad behaviour or you are in a dysfunctional relationship, try pressing reset. It breaks the cycle and gives you a chance to start over on a new footing.
Click here for more information on the latest Straight Talk workshop, How to run better meetings.
Sign up for TIPS
You can now order Straight Talk books from
Click on the books below...
|
