Holding a conversation means talking WITH someone or WITH a group of people. It does not mean holding them spellbound while you pontificate. It does not mean talking endlessly and without allowing any interruption, until you finish everything you want to say. It is certainly not a diatribe against all the wrongs you feel the world has wrought you.

A conversation is a two person game, or if played in a group, then it should include everyone in the group who has something to say. On that definition, how many real conversations have you been in recently?

We make excuses for each other. We say: He’s one of the Me Generation, or: That’s just how she is, or: He’s always got a story to tell. No matter how we explain it away, the truth is that when someone is hogging the air space, they are showing little interest in or respect for those who are listening.

You can check out your own behaviour with two questions. The first is: When you talk with others, how much of the air space do you typically use up? If you tend to do 80% of the talking, 80% of the time, you are not playing the two person game very well.

The second question is: When you talk to others about what to do, how many of the actions agreed come from you and how many from the others? If ideas mostly come from you, what creative input are you missing?

Relationships develop one conversation at a time. When your conversations are two person games, they contribute toward better relationships.