When you have healthy personal boundaries you don’t tolerate abuse or disrespect: you’re not afraid to say no, and you don’t take on problems that belong to other people. You know who you are and you treat yourself and others with respect.
 

When you have healthy personal boundaries you don’t tolerate abuse or disrespect: you’re not afraid to say no, and you don’t take on problems that belong to other people. You know who you are and you treat yourself and others with respect.
 
When we talk about needing space, setting limits or determining acceptable behaviour, we are referring to boundaries. Clear boundaries create healthy relationships. The best time to set them is before lines are crossed.
 
Sometimes it’s straightforward: allocation of work, or boundaries lying, stealing, or verbal and physical abuse. Boundaries based on personal preferences, feelings and needs can be difficult to negotiate. If it’s your boss, a family member or partner who is overstepping the lines, and if you have tolerated their behaviour for some time, the process can become more complicated.
 
•         It starts with being aware of your own feelings, needs, capabilities and limits.
•         Be realistic about how much you can do without suffering stress or ill health.
•         When possible ask for time to think about requests so you avoid making snap decisions under pressure.
•         Communicate your opinions and feelings so others understand where you’re coming from.
•         Offer to negotiate solutions that take the needs and wishes of others, as well as your own, into consideration.
 
It might be difficult at first but as your stress levels drop the benefits will become irresistible: strength, happiness, freedom and confidence.

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