It’s commonplace these days to talk about values. We talk about the importance of showing respect, of listening to customers, of being transparent, and of building teams based on open communication. Underlying these high ideals is the notion that we care about the people around us and the way in which we interact with them, be they customers, colleagues or the people who report to us. The problem with values however, is that we’re judged by how we live them out in our day to day lives, not by how much we talk about them.

If you really care, there are three ways you can show it.

You could listen. Listening is the one behaviour by which care and respect can be shown to others, no matter the differences in culture, gender or age. We all know how to listen and we do listen to those we really care about. But how well do you listen to the most junior people in your organisation, to those who are not your top performers, to people from different backgrounds, beliefs and preferences, or to the people you just KNOW are wrong? How much care to you show to them?

You could show empathy. Using empathy to acknowledge the feelings of others is probably the strongest and most effective way of showing caring. Most of us do not know how to, the rest of us are unwilling to try. Often, we are simply too absorbed in the scramble to achieve targets or too absorbed in our own lives and worries to have any energy left for the feelings of others. In consequence, we may talk about caring but show little in practice.

We could invite input from others. We talk participation, but we do it our own way. We go with our own plans, we tell more than we ask, and we discard ideas that do not fit with our view of the world. We forget that involvement and commitment are inseparable, and overlook the reality that it’s hard to go along with someone who shows no caring for you or what you have to say.

If you want others to know you care, stop talking about it - show them.