When we don’t talk straight, problems don’t go away. At work, poor performers continue to perform poorly; relationships become more strained; productivity drops. The innocent are blamed, the top performers move on; there will be an occasional angry outburst, a few resignations. The battle-weary keep their heads down, just getting through the days.

Down the track you wonder how team spirit, energy and creativity disappeared. In our personal relationships, we blame each other for our poor communication and tacitly agree to live in silence. We use everyday busy-ness as a respectable alternative. Problems have to be huge before they are discussed. Openness and intimacy are replaced by avoidance and evasion.

It’s spring! Try something new! Choose one of your simpler problems to start, then follow three steps. First make it safe for open conversation to take place by declaring your good intentions. Second, put some facts on the table. They provide a safe foundation for the conversation and show the basis for your concerns. Third, describe your concerns and share your feelings. Then invite the other person to share their side of the story. As they talk, listen; and keep on listening even when you disagree, or hear things about yourself or your role in the situation that you find it difficult to hear.

Keep listening! That alone will be enough to ensure that this season will be different and more productive.

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